My Wife Is Not a Queen—She’s the Backbone of Our Household

 


Let me set the stage.

I'm a 39-year-old husband and father. My wife, also 39, and I have been married for 15 years. I come from an upper-middle-class background. When I met her in college, she came from a lower-income family. She was a scholar who worked hard to finish her education. My immediate family loves her for being kind, genuine, and hardworking. But my extended family? Not as much.

Family Reunion in the Philippines

My wife and I migrated abroad 14 years ago. We've only been back to the Philippines twice. On this visit, we attended a big family reunion. I was with my mom and daughter, introducing her to relatives she hadn’t met before.

Then came my cousin (35M) and his wife (30F). He’s the type of guy with outdated views on gender roles in marriage.

Cousin: “You’ve got the dad vibes now! Where’s your wife?”
Me: “L’s downstairs with my dad.”
Cousin: “Your hands are rough! Is she making you do all the chores now? You’re like the nanny. Hand your kid to her, let’s go drink.”

I laughed. It’s true—my hands are rough from lifting at the gym. No shame in that.

Mom: “M knows how to do house chores now—he washes dishes, cleans, does the laundry, gardens, even does the groceries.”
Cousin: “So you’re the breadwinner and also the maid? What does L even do? I heard she’s living like a queen and buying expensive things…”

That’s when my mom stepped in.

Mom: “Of course he helps at home! L works too. They share responsibilities. And so what if she buys nice things? It’s their money!”

My cousin went quiet. My mom beat me to it.

What Does My Wife Do?

Let me tell you exactly what my wife contributes to our household:

  • Manages our finances

  • Fixes things around the house (she’s tech-savvy)

  • Handles utilities, insurance, repairs, and contractors

  • Plans all our family vacations

  • Manages everything related to our daughter’s schooling

  • Organizes all our documents and investments

  • Cooks all our meals (I can barely cook rice and eggs)

  • Cleans the house (I have asthma, so heavy cleaning triggers attacks)

Why She Deserves Everything

What does she get in return? The freedom to buy or do anything that makes life better for us. And she’s not wasteful. The expensive things my cousin mentioned? Those were gifts from me—jewelry like love bracelets, and quiet luxury items like timeless clothes and bags.

If my relatives think she’s living like a queen, they’re right. And that’s how it should be.

Because thanks to her, I get to live like a king. I get to focus on my career and my roles as a provider, protector, husband, and father—because she handles everything else.

She’s not a queen because of luxury. She’s a queen because of how much she carries for our family—and she deserves to be treated like one.

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